DarrenByrne.com

Maybe I should just stay at home next week.

So joyed up was I about the snow, so engrossed was I in Oscar history, so busy was I with secret projects, that I neglected to moan about Irish Rail‘s latest example of ineptitude.

For two weeks now, DARTs have not been running between Greystones and Bray. My main mode of transport to and from work is defunct.

“Is this such a big deal, you moany twat?” I hear you ask.

Well, yes it is. My entire routine is messed up, my day is longer and my hours of sleep are shorter. For the first week, I got a lift in to work with Lottie. This means we have to get up no later than 6.30am (over an hour earlier than usual) and leave the apartment by 7.30 to ensure we get into the city centre (less than 35km) by 9am, the time Lottie starts work (I begin at 9.30). Leaving any later than this runs the risk of heavy traffic and a late arrival into work.

“Why not get the bus then, you ugly looking sap?” I hear you shout.

Well, firstly, Lottie can’t travel by bus becasue she gets travel sick, so the car is her only option. This week I took to the buses though. Being helpful (!), Dublin Bus supplied a shuttle bus between Greystones and Bray DART stations. Simply put, 8 DART carriages into 1 double decker bus does not compute. It’s an unpleasant and difficult journey. By DART, the journey time between the two stations is about 10 minutes. By bus, it is anywhere from half an hour to 45 minutes and beyond. So, my usual journey time from Greystones to Dublin immediately jumps from 50 minutes up to over an hour and a half. Which means that, once again, I have to get up earlier and get an earlier bus.

“Fine, fine, but what’s caused all of this, you kangaroo turd?” I hear you mutter.

Well, due to the snow two weeks ago, there was “rock fall” on the tracks. I contacted Irish Rail for more information but none was forthcoming. I do know that they contracted in a machine to clear the obstruction. Apparently, this machine broke down and resulted in other stations having to close too. Beautiful irony. That which clears obstructions obstructs an otherwise clear path.

In come the printers. At further expence to the tax payer, large fancy signs were done up informing the would-be passenger that the line would remian closed “until further notice”. It was at that point I realised we were in this for the long haul.

“So, what happens next, scaldy balls?” I hear you question, and I’m beginning to become perturbed by your insults.

Well, according to the Irish Rail’s website, the obstruction should be cleared by Wednesday of this coming week. According to an overheard conversation between two bus passengers, the DART will be back on Monday morning. According to an overheard conversation between two Irish Rail employees at Pearse Station, it could be a few more weeks.

“A few more weeks? We’re starting to see why you’re annoyed, you lanky, big-nosed flute,” I hear you opine.

Well, in this day and age, how “rock fall”  because of snow can close down a train line for two weeks, never mind a few weeks more is an absolute joke. It’s shameful and pathetic. Irish Rail, one of the worst run organisations I have ever come across, let’s us down once again. Where is the accountability?

“Don’t ask us – we’re just a figment of your imagination, you crazed freak……”