Sep 30 2008
The Krypton Olfactor
Mr Maxi Cane is on a mission.
If you haven’t yet heard of his Smellumentary, check out this link. He’s planning on going 30 days without washing, without changing his clothes and, worst of all, without changing his underwear. Do we want to be around him when he does this? Definitely not! But do we want to see how he gets on with his project? Absolutely!
Of course, it’s not enough just to sit at home and veg out for a month – you need to interact with the public; you need to watch their faces as you raise your arms to hail a taxi, Maxi. So, we have the Smellenges – challenging Maxi to do normal things, turned abnormal by the man’s filthy stench.
He has come up with some ideas himself, but I’ve got some smellenges of my own.
1. Go to the Cinema
Easy, yes? Well, there’s a bit more to it. You have to make a phonecall at 6.50pm from the top of Grafton Street, booking a 7pm showing in Cineworld on the other side of the city. Then, you just have to make it to the film on time. Simple! Oh, and it needs to be a recent release. We’ll be needing a packed house. 🙂
2. You Need to Look the Part
Maxi, you’re moving up in the world. The floral shirts and cycling shorts just won’t cut it anymore. When you’ve finished your Smellumentary, there’ll be TV interviews and press conferences. You’ll need to look the part. So, I think it a good idea to get measured for a lovely new suit. I’m told Brown Thomas’ men’s department are very helpful. See if they’ll take your measurements for a brand new suit.
3. Not All Male Grooming is Out
Fine, you may not be washing or changing your clothes, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a complete slob. A nice tight haircut and perhaps a shave will make you feel wonderful. I know a particularly fine Barber on the Quays and I’ll even fork out for the cost of the haircut, as long as I can be there to watch.
The rules:
- Choose three activities that would antagonize the aroma and get up people’s noses
- Make sure they’re at least a little physical
- Keep them relatively simple, safe and legal
- Link your answers back here
- Give credit to the person who tagged you
- Tag three others
Oh, and if Maxi picks your challenge, you’ll get something very special – an official Smellumentary T-shirt, which he may even wear before giving to you…if you ask nicely.
Nice suggestions, very nice. I like the cinema one. Sneak a camera into the cinema and risk prison as well as ridicule??
Brown Thomas have a very fancy bouncer I’d need to charm first, but I can be very charming.
And the shave – would he trim anywhere?
Nice work Mr Byrne.
Can anyone beat them?
Haha brilliant suggestions Darren – also loving the post title.
I suggest that he chases after the first bus he sees – preferably when it’s late/early and the bus is nearly empty, and sit right beside someone, despite the many vacant seats around them. This happened to me a few weeks ago, it’s really pleasant I promise. Not.
You forgot: 4. have dinner at Darren’s on day 28 and don’t forget to give Darren lots of hugs 🙂
The suit is a good one! this is where i meant to write it!
Annie:
Good one, I might just make a habit of doing that, smelly or not!
Tina:
I doubt Lottie would let me in the front door!
@Maxi I have no doubt your charm can work wonders.
@Annie Excellent idea. Have you got two others you could turn into a post? There could be a t-shirt in it for you. 🙂
@Tina No! Just no!
@RP Well done! I’m very proud of your commenting skills. 😉