DarrenByrne.com

Bossman let us go home early. So, this is me…

This is me and my workmate…

And this is the man I’ll be seeing in a few hours…

I have gzillions of blogs in my feedreader, all broken down into different sections, all divided up by importance, topic, in some cases nationality and I rarely get through all of them anymore. But there’s one blog which I look forward to each day and that’s Positive Boredom.

B’dum B’dum is just a youngfella, but his writing is clever, funny and keeps me coming back for more. He works in the seemingly mundane environment of a supermarket, but manages to find real life stories and events that are hilarious. I guess it’s his point of view and his opinions on these situations that makes it funny.

He has a few posts on Customer Profiles. One particular customer he encounters is the Man From the Past, the Diabetic Cavemen who has gone through his life oblivious to the health implications of anything and now, in this latter stage of his life when he’s worried about his health, diabetes especially, he takes a trip to B’dum B’dum’s shop to buy healthily.

So it’s 8am, the shop’s just opened. Mr Caveman, utterly bewildered, steps in the front door of a shop for the first time in his life. He instantly stops and the first shelf.

Mr: Hey you! Son, c’mere.
Me: Uh hm, yeah?
Mr: Where are the ingredients and stuff for these? They’re not on them anywhere.
Me: Well those there are Fruit and Vegetables, the only ingredient in them is themselves.
Mr: Yeah, but where’re the ingredients?
Me: I’m sorry, I dunno.
Mr: Christ almighty, you’re meant to be working here FOR ME y’know?

*I nod and run off*

He is also extremely self-referential in the funniest of ways as his post on going to his mate’s birthday party shows. He brought him a 21st birthday card and a 1st birthday card (his mate was turning 22)

I showed him my cards… he didn’t get it. Being so desperate for approval that I started a blog so virtual people could give me extra approval and just have to click “delete” to get rid of anything negative, I had to find people who found it funny…

Today’s post is uncharacteristically short, but no less funny – check it out.

I think the reason I find his posts so entertaining is it reminds me of my years working in Tesco (and Quinnsworth). The characters you meet and the endless run of managers you go through. It is a hotbed of blog posts. B’dum B’dum, I look forward to someday buying you a pint, but until then, I’ll make do with reading your brilliant blog.

That was one hell of a busy week, with very little time spent online. That said, there were a few things this week that made me smile.

• Firstly, a huge, colossal, massive and pretty big piece of news. This is my 200th post. I have published 200 pieces of crap for you lot to ponder over for the past five months. 🙂

• Slashfilm provided some news that I’m unsure is good news or not. I’m going to go with Good simply because it’s talking about the great Rocky Horror Picture Show. My interest is piqued and I’m open to it being a good thing: MTV are remaking the RHPS. Sacrilegious? Maybe! But it’s always good seeing different versions of the show – this could be great. It could be! Really! Shut up and move on…

• This is good news depending on your point of view. If you like jokes about necrophilia, then this is for you. I laughed out loud:

• The Diet of Worms made it to Edinburgh. Yay them! When they were there last year they got to see Kristen Schaal (the crazy fan from Flight of the Conchords). Here she is:

• The Rut keeps getting funnier and funnier:

• And the greatest, if most inevitable news ever, sent to me by Lottie, via MarieClaire: Tim Burton is to direct the live action remake of Alice in Wonderland and guess who’ll be playing the Mad Hatter? You guessed it – Johnny Depp! Woohoo!

• Oh, and last, but not least, the best news of the week – it’s my birthday tomorrow!!! Yay me!